Who have a friend, have a treasure, and it’s a universal truth, proven by hundreds of studies throughout the world and not only star of sayings like this.
However, let’s face it , sometimes you keep a friendship that you no benefit just because you wear year relationship. But you is doing more harm than good? Or should you cut once and for all?
All relationships, including those of friendship, have a point where other small peculiarities are no longer invisible to become huge defects impossible to ignore.
But no need to resort to defects to believe that he or she has gone from being “your support, your joy, your accomplice” to become “the / a friend / a of which are talking about”.
Anyway, if you did not have clear, there are some keys to detect if your still deserves a chance or is it better to consider ending the relationship or at least give your friend an ultimatum. Some of these situations have lived myself in person and have helped me to get an idea of whether it was worth going ahead with the relationship, try to swerve or abandon forever.
1. It was not happy when I was with him / her
The fundamental key to deciding whether or not had to break. And it may seem overly dramatic, all the black or white, but every time I passed an evening with my friend returned home with a worm in the stomach, with the feeling that I would not had been any good because she had spent all afternoon putting “buts” criticizing everything and another friend we had in common.
And a friend who makes you happy is not a friend. That’s simple. Friends are to laugh, share, enjoy, have wonderful conversations that last eternal afternoons, cinema and tapas, not to discuss and mourn or spend the afternoon distressed.
2. The world revolves around you
The lottery of life says that at least once in your life you’ve crossed your path with someone who is very self-centered. For example, I have a friend who also has children, but his life is more complicated than mine. By the way she always speak I have the impression that I do not understand how bad it happens it, how stressed you are, how much you need to do (Put here the activity of your choice) although I do not feel like anything nothing. But it is that I do not need as much as she…
Also falls into that category another friend I have only remembers my existence when I needed for a recommendation of work, to accompany him to an event or, often nose to move. I’m thinking as if they were the receipt of the light.
3. We see life in a different way
Maybe when we were fifteen and we just kept eating pipes all afternoon while hormones made us laugh without stopping us along. But now that we are adults, we work, life goals, families and responsibilities, we may be in different dimensions, even completely opposite.
And I realized that sharing values and ideas, vital principles is important in many cases and a cause of conflict if we do not. Politics, relationships, manners, sense of humor, etc. Anything can separate.
You may also like to read another article on Blog-Collector: How to know if I want as a friend or something more
4. We are at different life stages
Okay, maybe the last point is not a problem and share ideas and values, but at a time of our lives and now we split along so different lives that combine worse than the tracksuit and heels. As my friend wants to go out all night to burn (sometimes literally) the dance floor, I just want to leverage in a quiet slowly sipping a wine of 30 dollars a bottle and chat site.
All we evolve and change and at every stage of our lives we need different things. It is normal that such a great girl who brought me both at the time of the university and has been living in the twenty mentally, now does not provide me as much as this mom with which I concur in the park every afternoon.
5. Never can count on your support / presence / attention
I’m not a priority in your life or my plans you care enough to sacrifice their own. And it gives me sit again and again, constantly delayed “we owe that coffee” (should be collecting it ) and never have time to call. So I have come to wonder that maybe interested nor I, nor my things and took months wasting time in this relationship.
6. I’m her cry on
Or worse, your punching bag. I had a friend so, so, so picky that when we parted needed a day to get me out of the body all the bad milk that had infected me and used to invent things that other friends told me (checked). Another, however, only called me to give me bad news. It was a cream suffering and I was never short of their sentences, had given hers to write two Venezuelan novelettes.
Yes, there are people who enjoy the conflict or drama and it is not always easy to realize that’s one got to the bars in a toxic relationship or your friend is a real emotional vampire.
In these cases my final conclusion is that it is better to be alone than have to endure another bad roll constantly.
The only solution is to break?
No one better than you to decide whether or not to break any of your friends.Sometimes, though life has separated you, it is also important to assess the past that you share together and understanding that you have, that goes far beyond words and gestures. Many years jettison and negotiate, talk and try a priori solution is the first step to give.
While it is true that no one directly going to a psychologist because he has problems with her friend, it is true that a bad relationship can be germ of conflicts and other problems or signal that something is not right. And often not worth wasting your time, involve your feelings or dedicate your thoughts to those people is disappointing you all the time or leave you in the lurch.
If you have to seriously think sitting and “cons” are more than the “pros” is far better allow excuses and give more time to those who contribute most to you in life, starting with yourself.